part 4 of the “after” series
When I started this series back in May, I had no idea how long the series would be or where it would go. However, three weeks into the series, I felt led to go on to something else. I thought the series was over where I had ended it back in May. There were still some things that I wanted to put in the series, but I felt God telling me to move on. So I did. I had no idea at that moment that God had simply just put the series on hold - as I am now finding out.
This became known in a church service a few weeks ago. The pastor was talking about how COVID-19 is making us all so distant from each other and conditioning us to start to feel better this way. We have been locked in our homes unable to meet with friends, family, and really any people. He shared how he has family members who live off of friendships and have become depressed because they are unable to see people.
This is because we are not meant to do life alone. It is not good for us. [1]
Solomon, who was the wisest man to ever live, said the same thing as well. He added a few more things in the words he wrote in Ecclesiastes. Solomon gained his wisdom when he answered a question that God asked him. This was the question:
“That night the Lord appeared to Solomon in a dream, and God said, ‘What do you want? Ask, and I will give it to you!’” - 1 Kings 3:5 NLT
Now talk about total access! God was pretty much giving Solomon a blank check. But what is amazing is how Solomon answered God’s question. I know how I would have answered it! Solomon replies to God by declaring how faithful and loving God was toward David and how God has continued to show that same faithfulness and love to him. Then he asked God to give him an understanding heart (wisdom) to lead the people well. Solomon’s answer pleased God and He granted Solomon his request for wisdom. God was so pleased that He also gave him riches and fame! [2]
Now let’s get back to the words that he wrote in Ecclesiastes about friendship and not doing life alone. I want to look at what he said now. In Ecclesiastes 4, Solomon has these words to say:
“Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed. If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But someone who falls alone is in real trouble.
A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer. Three are even better, for a triple-braided cord is not easily broken.” - Ecclesiastes 4:9-10, 12 NLT
The first thing he says is that it is best to be with other people because they can help each other. Sound familiar? It sounds like exactly what God said in Genesis. [1] When we are with other people we can accomplish more than we ever could alone.
Secondly, he says that when a person falls alone there is no one there to help him up. But when people are together there are people around to help them up when they fall. We all fall down sometimes and it’s good to have someone there to help when we do. I am not talking about falling on the sidewalk either. I am talking about when life blindsides us. When we lose a job. When a family member gets sick. When we get the unfortunate news of the passing of a loved one. When we are betrayed by someone close to us. When the person that makes a life promise to us and then leaves. It is those kinds of circumstances and situations that can knock us down and if we don’t have someone there to help us up we can get in real trouble.
I know how it goes. We think we are fine and that we can handle it. I can get through this all on my own. I don’t need anyone else to help. I have been there. I have said that about a situation that I faced and I have spoken about it on this blog before. But it was only a matter of time and I realized that I couldn’t do it alone anymore. Well, it was more God. As time went on, God started leading people to me. Many different people came to me and offered their words of encouragement and help. One guy even noticed a change in my demeanor and asked me what was going on. They helped up and helped me through it and I could not be more grateful for those people. But as I said, it was more God. I was too stubborn to go and talk to people about it and God knew it. So God was just sticking to what He had said. He was faithful to His word - “It is not good for man to be alone.” [1]
The last thing that Solomon said is that the bigger the group the better. He says that it is good to have friends and that if all of you stick together you cannot be easily broken. The more friends you have, the more help you have. One friend can give you advice and that is good, but to be able to get more than one person’s advice is even better!
This is why even the most introverted person on the planet is having trouble during this pandemic. I have always said that I’m good sitting home and being by myself watching TV or playing a video game. But even this pandemic has got me wanting to be around people whenever I get the chance. I guess it really is true you don’t know what you have until it’s gone. We have possibly taken the ability to see for granted and now we are missing it. It wears on you. It wears on the kids in our lives. We are not meant to do life alone.
I know for me I take every chance I can get to get together with friends now after months of not being able to see them. But I always try to see what God could be teaching me through all of this. He is always working. He is always doing new things. This is no different. I believe that God just wants us to be better after all of this is over in the area of our friendships. Be willing to hang out more. Send text messages more often. Be willing to be available. Be willing to be better after.
[1] “Then the Lord God said, ‘It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper who is just right for him.’” - Genesis 2:18 NLT
[2] “Solomon replied, ‘You showed great and faithful love to your servant my father, David, because he was honest and true and faithful to you. And you have continued to show this great and faithful love to him today by giving him a son to sit on his throne.’” - 1 Kings 3:6 NLT
[2] “Give me an understanding heart so that I can govern your people well and know the difference between right and wrong. For who by himself is able to govern this great people of yours?” - 1 Kings 3:9 NLT
[2] “The Lord was pleased that Solomon had asked for wisdom. So God replied, ‘Because you have asked for wisdom in governing my people with justice and have not asked for a long life or wealth or the death of your enemies— I will give you what you asked for! I will give you a wise and understanding heart such as no one else has had or ever will have! And I will also give you what you did not ask for—riches and fame! No other king in all the world will be compared to you for the rest of your life! And if you follow me and obey my decrees and my commands as your father, David, did, I will give you a long life.’”- 1 Kings 3:10-14 NLT
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