Sticks and Stones

I am sure that everyone reading this can finish the following saying....

“Sticks and stones.....”

I am sure that you kept right on going finishing this common phrase that I am sure we have all heard since childhood.

“Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me.”

Well, that phrase is half right anyway. Sticks and stones can break your bones. If someone picked up a stone and threw it in your direction and hit you in the head - it would hurt. It could break your nose, eye socket or leave a wicked bruise on your face. If someone grabbed a stick and hit you over the head with it that would hurt as well and depending on the size of the stick it could break bones as well. So this childhood saying that we have all heard is half right - sticks and stones may break my bones. But it’s the words that come after that wrong - “but words will never hurt me.”

This is a lie. Words do hurt. Words do leave marks on you just like sticks and stones would. Even if we don’t show it or we go along with words that are said to us - they still hurt when you think about it. There is also something else about words - you can’t get the back once you say them. Once they leave your mouth, they are out and the person or people you are talking to have heard them and there is no going back. Even if they are said in a joking manner or in a playful way, the words we use still affect people and we need to be careful.

I think of it like this... our mouths are like a confetti cannon. When you twist the end or pull the string, the confetti comes bursting out and is unable to go back in the confetti cannon.

Also, when the confetti cannon goes off and all of the pretty colored confetti comes flying out it is cool to see. Sometimes our words seem cool at the moment. The words that we say make us fit in with the crowd we are trying to fit in with or we try out the new insult we heard because it seemed cool. Whatever scenario we would put here sometimes we think our words are cool and we don’t think about the damage they could do. A verse in Proverbs says:

“The words of the reckless pierce like swords, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.” - Proverbs 12:18 NIV

Our words have two great powers - power to destroy or power to heal. The choice is ours to make.

The other thing with a confetti cannon is that it makes a mess. They make huge messes. Our words can make huge messes as well. They can make situations worse. They can harm or even end relationships. They can make an argument worse. Again, whatever scenario we could put here for how our words can make a mess of the situation. Another verse from the book of Proverbs says:

“A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” - Proverbs 15:1 NIV

Once again, how we use our words has great power. This verse is telling us that we can get a lot farther with our conversations if we give gentle answers. But that’s hard. It is really hard to do - especially when someone is yelling at you or mistreating you - it is hard to respond to those harsh words gently. But gentle words bring healing and calmness into a conversation and we can turn the conversation around by using gentle words. Now I know it won’t work every time, but isn’t worth a shot. Instead of us entering into a battle of words and conversation that isn’t going to get either person anywhere, what if we entered into the conversation using gentle words from the start to see how the conversation might change.

We all only get to say a certain number of words in a day. What if we were known more for our gentle words instead of our harsh ones? What if we used our words to build up instead of tear down? Let’s all try to use our words wisely.

“Don’t use foul or abusive language. Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them.” - Ephesians 4:29 NLT